Am I Less of a Woman?

 In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I would like to share my story.

  Today is April 23rd, 2013, but that is not where this story begins. My symptoms, like most people with my condition, started gradually and therefore usually mistaken for other medical problems. And because they happen so gradually, you start to tell yourself that these things are normal and find your own ways to deal with them. I would tell myself that my dry scalp was from the season changing or the type of shampoo I was using. I would tell myself that the stray course dark hairs growing on my chin were just from my hairy family genes. I told myself that the reason my eyes were drying out so fast was from sleeping in my contacts too often, even though they are suppose to be extended wear lenses. I told myself that my inability to lose my extra abdominal weight was due to lack of discipline, even though I eat fairly healthy and exercise 3 times a week. My headaches, my troubles sleeping and most importantly my inability to conceive a child after a year of trying; I had excuses for all of them. But it wasn't until my fear of never having a child of my own got so big that I finally went to see a fertility specialist, and I was diagnosed with PCOS, that everything started making sense.
  I feel like I should have been more shocked after hearing the diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or relieved, or scared, but what I really felt was . . . nothing. It's like there was this calm around me and I just knew, and everything became super clear. It's as if everything that I had just come to accept as normal, finally made sense. After leaving the doctor's office that day, with prescriptions in hand, I thought that things just had to get better from there. Boy was I ever wrong! That was only the tip of the iceberg! Since then I've been poked and prodded every which way possible. I've had more blood drawn and tested than I ever have before in my life combined. I'm on a medication that is suppose to be making me feel better, but the side effects of diarrhea, headaches, extreme exhaustion, nausea, muscle pain, bloating and gas (which puts my husband's to shame) are getting almost worse the the side effects from the PCOS. I say almost because, while it is horribly unbearable and I feel completely useless at times, I know that it's working. And I know that there is hope for me and my husband to have the baby that we are fighting like hell for.
  My goal is not to change the direction of this blog, but to inform and have awareness for these things. This is very much a real thing and something that I no longer have to make excuses for. While it is not always as easy to deal with as I may make it out to seem, I am doing the best that I can. I am taking some much needed time for me and taking care of myself. I do not intend to distract this blog from it's originally intention, but I will occasionally be making updates about my progress, and am here to answer any questions if there happen to be any. I am not about to go all "gung-ho" advocate about this disease, but I think talking about it and letting others know that they are not alone in their struggles is a good thing.

For more information please go to SoulCysters.com and while you're there you can also check out the wonderful support on their message board!

What is it with men and grilling?!?

My little Grill Master!

  Now, I'm sure that you are all very aware at this point just how much I love my husband, and in case you don't, it's a lot! But I trust him in the kitchen about as far as I can throw a stick. Maybe it's the fact that even though we have lived in our house for almost 2 years and he still doesn't know where anything is or where anything goes. (Sorry babe, you know I love you!). So when he decided that he wanted to break in our new grill for his birthday, I just assumed I'd be doing that too. Boy was I ever wrong!!

  He went outside and took over that grill like he had been doing it his entire life. Like every thing in his life was leading up to this moment of being the man of the house and grilling out back on Sundays. It was amazing to watch him shine in such a way. It reminded me of the first time that we went camping together and I was a little concerned about my somewhat clumsy husband. Not to mention that the last thing you would mistake my computer programming husband for is the outdoorsy, Paul Bunyan type. But once again, I was shocked and amazed as he took over chopping the wood and building the fire like a pro!! 

I did still get to make
him cupcakes!!

 I think that as woman we get so use to just doing everything our selves that we truly do forget that our husbands are capable human beings, and I mean that in the most loving way possible. We, as women, also torture ourselves by trying to juggle everything instead of giving anyone else the opportunity to step in and help. And we all have our reasons, things we say to convince ourselves that it's better this way: "I can get it done faster myself", "they don't do it the way that I would". And that is probably true, they might not do it, whatever it is, the way you would. But we really just need to remember that it doesn't matter 'how' it gets done, as long as it gets done. Yes, your husband might empty the dishwasher and put the cups in the wrong cabinet, or worse, in the right cabinet but on the wrong shelf or wrong order. But it the end, the dishwasher is still empty (and, if you've properly trained him, loaded with the next dirty batch). 

   We can't complain that they don't do anything, and we do everything, if we don't leave them anything to do. And who knows, they might just surprise you with how they shine!

P.S. Since it's been a little while since I've written (promise I'll be better), I just wanted to remind you that you can follow me on PINTEREST and also find me on my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE!